my bi-weekly amusement (this week's edition)

(Written 'as is')

Question: You have just read the book 'Anastasia' and seen the movie. Please write an imaginary biography about Anastacia's life. Use as much information from the book as you can and if possible, go to the library or use the internet to find out more information about the real Anastacia's life. What happens after the book ends? Where do Dimitri and Anastacia go?

"Anastacia was a young Russian Princess. She was born in 1916 in St. Petersburg. Russia.

Anastacias grandmother was named, Marie. Her father was named, Nicholas.

Anastasia was one day ate a ball in her palace, when suddenly rusputin Appeared a evil person.

At midnight the town came crashing in the castle. They killed every person who was royal including Anastasia and he brother and sisters. That was the day in 1924.

For the people ruled the Land.

[Now insert random dodgy, handrawn picture of the Jolly Roger]

The horizon is going.

Once, there lived a man named, Ben. Ben was a man that loved to look at the sea's horizon.
Finally, one day, he found a Unit that you could see the sea's horizon by the beach.
One day, as he looked out to sea. he could hear a voice behind him saying "The horizon is going". When he turned his face to where the voice had spoken, he saw a ghostly figure of 'Anastasia'.
Suddenly, Ben screamed and nearly fell of the balcony. But just at that time the spirit of Anastasia helped him up again.
Then the horizon was gone forever.
It was his last time to see the horizon.
After a little while, Pocohontas appeared. She was floating with the wind. What a beautiful sight thought Ben, but the horizon has gone...forever.
Pocohontas tried to cheer him up, but that did not work. Ben would be sad forever. Anastasia tried to cheer him up with happy stories.
But from then on Ben was a broken hearted old man."

Help! What am I supposed to do with this?!?! The grammar! The spelling! The punctuation! The logic (more like lack thereof)!

I know it's terrible of me to doubt my students, but I have the sneaking suspicion that the parts that ARE actually proper English, were copied straight out of the book itself (and taken out of context along the way!). This student never writes anything like "that was the day in 1924" or "for the people ruled the land".

And the random insertion of Pocohontas and Ben?! Wth?!?

And sadly enough, this is a considerably good piece in comparison to the other stuff this student has handed in lately.

*Sighs*