Unfortunately, like everyone else in the world I'd imagine, there are just times when I feel engulfed by something/someone which/who is making me feel pretty negative.
I like feeling independent. As Mum has advised Bon and me time and time again, 靠人不如靠己 which means "rather than relying on others, rely on yourself". I try my best to live by this philosophy and it's backfired on me pretty spectacularly more than once but whatever doesn't kill you can only make you stronger and since I'm still very much alive, I'm sure I've learnt something from my experiences.
This philosophy however, has the unfortunate effect of turning me into a bit of a control freak. Feeling helpless when things are out of my control really ticks me off. This means that things like getting sick, the weather, waiting for someone to show up to something, etc ticks me off.
Worse than that is when you know exactly what can be done about resolving a situation, but also know exactly why you can't do so. Usually this happens when you stop to take a look at the big picture and realise that no, it would probably NOT be such a good idea to slap so-and-so in the face no matter how tempting the notion might be.
It's damn infuriating being your own party pooper, eh?
Then again, the alternative is an all-out gore fest as you let out all our pent up frustrations in one violent motion on said person/object. The result would not be pretty.
3 comments:
Solution: Alcohol.
lol nah, you alright there? Seems like the trip's getting to you a little. Even you, Kylie, the Buddha amongst mankind. Well, I hope writing down your thoughts helped, I know it does for me.
Lol, yeh the Buddha is having trouble coping. It's been a little tough the last couple of days.
It doesn't really help that the class I'm in is really challenging and therefore I'm constantly stressed out and sleep deprived from preparing for classes and trying to comprehend the lessons.
I could go to a lower level class but I want to stick it out here since I'll probably learn more in the end, although it is rather painful at the moment.
On a happier note, we're off to the great wall on Saturday!
LOL! I was just browsing through my old blog posts and stumbled across this.
You must have been pretty confused by the 'chaos-child's' comment eh, Liam?
Just to clear up any last confuzzlements you might have, that was me in the comment above, although you probably figured it out pretty easily.
I was using Bon's laptop in Beijing and she was probably still signed on to her blogger account when I commented.
So no, my sister isn't a crazy lunatic who sounds just like me.
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